I was asked to write about why I am anti-rosters. This is funny because I tell my Sissy (Kir) every other day that I’m gonna join the movement and just get one, and we both know I’m lying (lol).
One thing I want to clarify is that we have so many fricken relationship statuses and situations that it can be confusing to know exactly what I mean when I say things like this. So, I appreciate the suggestion/question (I will work on being more clear).
I do not have a problem with dating multiple people. You’re (truly) feeling people out, you’re going out on dates, you’re trying to find a connection with someone in whatever way that may look like… sure. That’s cool. I think this a very necessary thing. How else do you get to know people?
I do have a problem when feelings start to get involved. You’re calling multiple people baby/bae, you’re sleeping with multiple people, you’re making them feel like you have a future together, you now have to be sneaky and divide your time or feel the need to tell half-truths… Nah. Not interested.
It’s just not me. When I get to the point of really liking someone I’m about that person, and don’t really have interest in exploring more options. I will want to be with them and bend over backwards to make sure they’re happy.
I don’t like rosters because someone always gets hurt. Eventually someone’s feelings are going to outweigh another’s and at that point difficult decisions need to be made. And, so far, 100% of the feelings that get hurt are mine. Why? Because I opt out once I’m aware of the situation. You can participate (and no shade to those who do, to each their own…), but it’s just something I’m not ok with.
I’m not a collectible (but if I was I would be either the 1997 or 2000 Black Holiday Celebration Barbie) and I don’t feel I need to prove my worth. You’ll feel it, now or later. You can’t just put me on a shelf and hope I’m there in a few months/years when you decide you’re ready to act right. Understand you’ve forfeited the position you once held. Someone else may be waiting to take your place.